I'm not sure whether to laugh at this or not...

Well, I bet the person who wins the $500 won't be laughing!
You can win $500 just for telling Santa what you want for Christmas at the Cellar's /Sexy Santa Party/! Not bad! This Wednesday, December 16th you can head to the Cellar (1006 Granville Street) to party it up with free gingerbread and fun prizes. As well, they're collecting donations for the food bank, so bring a non-perishable item with you to get in the holiday giving spirit.

http://www.cellarvan.com/clubnights_detail.php?id=62

(Insert Witty Russian Title Here)

Republic (958 Granville Street) will be hosting the Russian Standard launch party - "The #1 premium vodka in Russia!" on Wednesday, December 16th from 10pm to 3am!

Do you, like me, have a secret fetish for all things Russian? That crazy language? Vodka? Snow? Warm clothes? Hunky men named Vlad?

Check out this vodka launch event Wednesday night at Republic, with DJs Supafly, BZ Black and the Boyscouts.

(I wish I knew a Russian word that I could sign off this post with!)

http://www.dhmbars.ca/republic0events.aspx?1=187&2=187&3=3&4=3&6=86&8=86&10=86&12=86&14=86&16=86&17=187&19=187&21=187&23=187&25=187&27=187&18=186&20=186&22=186&24=186&26=186&28=186

You had me at "Complimentary Cover with any canned food donation!"

Dance away the night to Top 40, Hip Hop and holiday dance hits!! It has always been my dream to go to a club and dance to Christmas music. I don't know anyone who loves Christmas music as much as I do, but maybe I could find my soul-mate at Caprice's Winter Wonderland party next Tuesday, December 22nd.

http://www.capricenightclub.com/event3.htm